On My Bookshelf: Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Title: Gods of Jade and Shadow
Author: Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Genre: Fantasy, Maya Mythology, Death
My Rating: 5/5

Casiopea Tun dreams of dancing fast, swimming in the Pacific Ocean, and driving an automobile. Instead, she is trapped in a rural Mexican town serving her hateful grandfather and the rest of his family. One day, she opens the forbidden chest in her grandfather’s bedroom and releases the god of death, Hun-Kame, supreme leader of Xibalba. Together they must journey across Mexico and complete three trials to restore Hun-Kame to his throne. If they are successful, Hun-Kame will grant Casiopea’s heart’s desire. If they fail… Casiopea will die.

This story started off slowly, with exposition about the town, the family, and Casiopea’s hopes and personality, starkly in opposition to the show, don’t tell “rule” of writing. Based on the first chapter, I was prepared to be a little disappointed; I had my eye on this book for many months and was very excited to finally be able to read it. However, once Casiopea opened the chest, accidentally releasing Hun-Kame, the story took off and took me with it. I was completely caught up in the narrative, which does feature a lot of exposition, but it works. This is part historical fantasy, part love story, but the tone solidifies it as a beautifully-told brand-new myth.

Casiopea is as real as anyone, full of dreams, bitterness, curiosity, and love. She was inspiring in her strength, but it wasn’t a self-sacrificial strength a la Cinderella. She was always determined to save herself, and did, in the end.

As the story unfolded, I knew it was going to be a bittersweet ending and Garcia-Moreno delivered. I finished reading with a knot in my throat and stars in my eyes, hoping that Casiopea and Hun Kame could find a measure of peace in their futures. I love reading about Maya history, religion, and myth and this book was exactly what I was craving. I’ll be rereading Gods of Jade and Shadow regularly.

The things you name do grow in power, but others that are not ever whispered claw at one’s heart anyway, rip it to shreds even if a syllable does not escape the lips.

Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Gods of Jade and Shadow

On My Bookshelf: The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker

Title: The Denial of Death
Author: Ernest Becker
Genre: Psychology, Philosophy
My Rating: 2/5

Becker posits that humans have a deep, innate fear of death and that all human action stems from attempts to mitigate this fear in various ways. I read this book ten years ago for a college class and thought I’d pick it up again to see what I could glean. I liked the premise because it seemed logical to me. The execution of the argument, however, left a lot to be desired. 

The introduction outlines Becker’s arguments and got me interested in reading further. After that, however, he spends an inordinate amount of time describing the theories of philosophers/psychologists like Freud, Kierkegaard, and Otto Rank (with whom he seems to have an unhealthy obsession). I didn’t choose this book to go through all Freud’s nonsense again. I slogged through the middle section in hopes that it would end soon and we’d get to the good stuff.

Towards the end of the book, Becker discusses how different “mental illnesses” are a result of the fear of death. If he hadn’t lost me before that point, he would have when he describes how being gay or trans is a mental illness. On top of that, throughout the book women are treated almost as a separate species, barely worth mentioning except to describe their penis envy and the fact that their place is in the home, pushing out children. Needless to say, the book aged very poorly.

Becker never really developed an “answer” to the problem of the fear of death. A close contender was religion, with its belief systems, rituals, and afterlife, but since it’s a mythology, humans would always have the knowledge that it is fake. Becker’s solution is to suggest that psychology itself should become a religion. I’m still not clear on how that would work, but I found it a dissatisfying answer.

I pretty much finished this book out of spite. Despite the numerous shortcomings of Becker’s arguments, there are a few gems hidden in the text.

I really liked the idea that humans are creatures of opposites. They are animals in possessions of “creaturely” bodies that defecate and that crave food, sleep, and sex. However, they are also symbolic creatures, “gods” within their own minds and it is this dichotomy they constantly try to reconcile. 

I also found interesting the idea that culture is an illusory creation of humanity, a way in which to make sense of both power over their surroundings and impotence in the face of death. Similarly, routines are a means of avoiding living in the world and not dealing with the awesomeness of it.

I gave this book 2 out of 5 stars because I hate-read it about 90% of the time (when it wasn’t putting me to sleep). Becker’s intriguing thoughts on the fear of death could have been consolidated to a few pages or maybe a chapter. The premise was fascinating, but his analysis was soporific, at best, and his “answer” to the fear of death was basically nonexistent.

“Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order to blindly and dumbly rot and disappear forever.”

The Denial of Death, Ernest Becker

On My Bookshelf: Abhorsen by Garth Nix

Title: Abhorsen
Author: Garth Nix
Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult
My Rating: 5/5

Abhorsen is a continuation of the previous book, Lirael, and picks up where the last one left off. The Destroyer, an ancient and terrible evil, has been released and is intent on the destruction of the world. Lirael, sent away from her home in the mountains, has just discovered that she is the Abhorsen-in-waiting, charged with laying the dead to rest and protecting the Kingdom. She and her friends the Disreputable Dog, Prince Sameth, and Mogget, the talking cat/imprisoned magical beast, continue on their journey to rescue Sam’s friend and defeat the Destroyer before it obliterates the world.

Like Lirael before it, Abhorsen is not a standalone book. These are basically parts one and two of the same story and cannot be read independently of each other. Abhorsen continues with a quick pace, starting in media res, and the action piles on until the very end. Lirael and Sam are much more likable in this book, as they’ve started to grow into their powers.Their companions, the Dog and Mogget, have strong personalities and mysterious backgrounds that come into play towards the end. Like threads being woven together, all major and minor storylines join beautifully in the conclusion. I have read Abhorsen dozens of times and I cry at the end every single time. A worthwhile read. 

…It is better to do something than nothing, even if the cost is great.

Abhorsen, Garth Nix

Full disclosure: I photoshopped the photo of the book for the this post because I’m still in the process of moving and wasn’t able to take a picture. So I reused an old photo and inserted a picture of the cover over top.

On My Bookshelf: Lirael by Garth Nix

Title: Lirael
Author: Garth Nix
Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult
My Rating: 4/5

Lirael is a daughter of the Clayr, a matriarchal society in the northern mountains. All the Clayr have the gift of Sight–except Lirael. Abandoned by her mother when she was a child, she feels alone and irreconcilably different from the rest of her kin. She finds solace in her position as a librarian where she meets–or creates?–her dearest friend, the Disreputable Dog. However, when the Clayr See an ancient enemy that threatens the entire world, they also See that Lirael is the only one who could stop it. They send her out of the mountain with only her own skills and the help of the Dog to face this terrifying evil.

Lirael is the sequel to Sabriel, but doesn’t feature the characters from the previous book much at all. The pace in the beginning is a little slow and Lirael often comes across as mopey and childish. Initially, she is fourteen, so this is fairly forgivable, as long as you can make it through the first section. Lirael has a great character arc, however, and grows into her own strength. She meets Prince Sameth towards the end of the book, who has similar issues but also grows out of them. While Lirael isn’t as strong a book as Sabriel, it’s very enjoyable. However, it is NOT a standalone book. It should have been combined with the third book, Abhorsen, and just been released as one huge volume. Don’t read Lirael without also having Abhorsen ready to read!

I am the Disreputable Dog. Or Disreputable Bitch, if you want to get technical. When are we going for a walk?

Lirael, Garth Nix

Full disclosure: I photoshopped the photo of the book for the this post because I’m still in the process of moving and wasn’t able to take a picture. So I reused an old photo and inserted a picture of the cover over top.

On My Bookshelf: Sabriel by Garth Nix

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Title: Sabriel
Author: Garth Nix
Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult
My Rating: 5/5

Sabriel is eighteen and about to graduate from private school in the country of Ancelstierre. However, she is from the Old Kingdom across the Wall, where magic runs wild and necromancers can command the dead to rise. Her father is the Abhorsen, sworn to combat necromancers and lay the dead to rest. When he sends a message from beyond death, Sabriel must cross the Wall into a land she hasn’t visited since she was five. With help from Mogget, a talking cat who is actually a deadly magical beast, and Touchstone, a man she frees from an enchanted sleep, Sabriel must take on the mantle of the Abhorsen to find her father and defeat a great Enemy who seeks the destruction of the entire kingdom.

I don’t think I can ever review Sabriel as an unbiased reader. It will always be dear to me as one of the books I read annually (along with Lirael and Abhorsen) and as a paragon of the types of stories I want to write. Nix writes Sabriel as a down to earth, intelligent, strong, emotional lead. She was written as a person who happens to be female, rather than as a tropey “strong female character” or, even worse, as a sex object. As a result, she felt more real to me than many female fantasy characters who often come across as caricatures. Sabriel’s companion Mogget is an absolute delight. Will he kill Sabriel? What even is he? It doesn’t matter because you end up liking him regardless. Touchstone takes getting used to because he is overly servile in the beginning, although his motivation for his behavior soon becomes clear. Perhaps the love story between him and Sabriel was a little quick, but I buy it because Sabriel and Touchstone work well together and people who go through great trials together bond deeply and quickly. The pace of Sabriel is quick but not rushed, the worldbuilding is one-of-a-kind (in fact, it wasn’t until many years and many rereads later that I realized this is essentially zombies with magic), and the characters feel real. Sabriel has a permanent spot on my top ten list of favorite books.

Let this be my final lesson. Everyone and everything has a time to die.

Sabriel, Garth Nix

Full disclosure: I photoshopped the photo of the book for the this post because I’m still in the process of moving and wasn’t able to take a picture. So I reused an old photo and inserted a picture of the cover over top.

We die a little every day

I turned 31 last weekend. Society tells me I’m supposed to feel something about that. Panic, maybe, that the good years are behind me. Forty is fast approaching and after forty is basically death.

The thing is, we die a little every day.

Am I preoccupied with death? I… don’t think so, although perhaps the books on my nightstand recently would say something different (The Denial of Death, Civilized to Death, How Not to Die). If I am, it’s certainly not a new preoccupation–ten years ago, my final paper for a college English course was about fear of mortality in eighteenth through twentieth century American literature. At the time, I was also taking psychology courses on Terror Management Theory, which posits that most human action is done to mitigate the ever-present fear of death.

In my day job, I work for a medical malpractice attorney and I see how quickly things can go from normal life to nightmare.

Okay, so maybe I think about death a little more than the average person.

My partner and I were joking about my birthday and how I’m “old” now (his favorite joke, as he is nearly four months younger than me). He might have said something about how it was the beginning of the end. But I seem to be living life in reverse–the end has already passed.

My naughts, I said, were all about control–my lack thereof.

I had a little more agency in my teens, but my life was ruled by school and homework.

In my twenties, I found myself and learned what I don’t want out of life.

My thirties, I told him, are the beginning of the beginning.

The thing about death is that it could happen any time. I asked myself if I died today, would I be happy with the life I’ve lived? The frank answer is no. That’s a hard thing to admit because it implies wasted time.

I am taking control of my life this year. I’m making big changes in the way I live, work, and relax. A few weeks ago, I thought about my goals for one year, and five years, and ten years from now, and wrote them down.

This year I am going to spend more time writing, reading, and creating art. I am going to submit my novel Fog and Glass to literary agents and rewrite Secret Project #1. I am going to spend more time with my family, my partner’s family, and friends I haven’t seen in far too long.

I am going to be patient.
I am going to be present.
I am going to be compassionate.
I am going to be honest.

I am going to live intentionally.